We-vibe wand: man’s view

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The Forest Cat once again indulges us with a humorous sketch, but in every joke there is only a fraction of a joke!


Text: Forest Cat
Photo: NuArt Studio

Russian version

– Anybody saw that freak? – Bear rubbing his bruised side, and groaning got out to the fire, around which old friends were already lounging on their chairs: Owl, Hedgehog and Forest Cat. Bear sat down next to them and continued:
– This is the situation! Half of the forest is hiding from him, and the other half is looking for him to say thank you. How he got it this way, huh?
– Who are you talking about? – Cat asked lazily, straightening the brazen in the fire...
– Yes, it's clear about whom, – answered Hedgehog, – about our Hare, the day before yesterday from the Editors sent him a certain Wand for the test, have you heard? So now, as he received it, he was inflamed with an impossible love for all the animals of our forest, and rushes around with the wand at the ready...
– All’s ok, – Owl joined in the conversation, – I was with him yesterday... (here she hesitated), – I saw him, general, and I confirm, it's a good thing, I really liked what he did with...
– So then - to you, Bear grumbled, – and Hare came to me this morning. Do you want, he says, to experience unearthly pleasures? I was sleepy, did not understand anything at first, but agreed. So he... (here Bear stumbled), – in general, well, he woke me up. Hard. He says you're big, I'll turn on the maximum mode for you right away. And he started from the neck, then he moved to the back, massaged my paws, but as I started to get to the tail, so I... And he... Now my side hurts...
– Listen, why exactly it was given to him? – the Hedgehog wondered, – I could take it, I have long wanted it.
– They would not give you, said the Owl, – our Hare is nimble and nosy. And you are already old, what are you going to massage there, only needles. He will come here, he will boast to us as always, and you write down after him everything that he investigated for us there. And then we will interrogate the rest of the animals and compare.

...And indeed, after some time all passions subsided, the animals scattered to their corners, and the Hedgehog's notebook remained in the clearing, in which the following was carefully written down...

Monumental! (crossed out). Delightful! (crossed out). Inexpressible!

We-vibe Wand! (circled and underlined twice).

The largest massage head size, and really deep, low vibrations! The widest range, knows how to be both extra powerful, quiet and gentle. Mega – comfortable vibration mode when in contact with the body. Absolutely sealed, magnetic charging, 10 vibration modes, 24 intensity levels, the ability to control it from a smartphone, and one full charge of the device is enough for about 90 minutes of continuous operation. More than adequate control, there are no touch modes, only two large buttons and a large elastic joystick “+/-“, on which fingers, even if they are greased, they do not slip and confidently switch modes.

And now the main thing! It is not women who need to buy this Wand. Wands needs to be bought FOR them by men! And they need it!

In the hands of men, during the moments of the couple's games, this Wand is able to give a woman much more pleasure than usual. Have you heard anything about “excessive orgasm”? This is the point to which a woman rarely brings herself to, she will stop halfway, and rather choose lighter and more affectionate influences. However, with joint caresses, she will be grateful to her man for helping her discover and experience it. I tested it.

Oh yeah, and it's also a really great full body massager, as it was conceived by the creator of the first Wand back in 1968. And there is still only one minus here – transportation and storage. You can't just hide it in your purse, it's big, and besides, the bag just isn't included. The rest is only pluses. In general, I would take it and leave it in my arsenal by all means, without hesitation...

So, guys, this is exactly what was written in that notebook. I saw it myself.

Love to all. (c) Your Forest Cat.
(Photo and video reports from the forest, and beyond).

The vibrator is provided by Wow Tech Group.