Unrealistic Masturbators: Which Brand Is Better?

masturbator , fairy tales for adults , forest cat , review , svakom , men's max , HappyEgg , private

This time, the fairy tale for adults turned out to be more tricky. Test drive and comparison of HappyEgg, Svakom, Men's Max and others masturbators.


© Forest Cat

Animal symposium:
– On what is more pleasant for us and why...
[a series of strange fairy tales for adults]

Russian version

- As you know, I personally have been following the release of new versions of all kinds of male masturbators for a long time, and therefore ... – The Black Stork slowly pulled up his coat, lifted his beak and glanced victoriously over the crowd over his pince-nez, – I'm going to tell you a little about the intricacies of their use...

The Little Mouse, the Hedgehog and the Bear, holding their breath, sat in the first row on wooden folding chairs, and listened carefully to his speech... At the same time, the Mouse diligently wrote down his words in a notebook, and when she did not understand some expressions, the Hedgehog leaned towards her and whispered their meaning to her. She blushed and continued to write.

– As I heard, many in our forest, – the Stork continued his speech, – choose European suppliers, giving their preference to such brands as Svakom or, let's say, HappyEggs. He paused and once again looked at the audience – however, I would suggest that the audience should not dwell only on them, and, if possible, continue and even deepen our research.

At the same moment in the eighth row a furry paw shot up, and the fluffy Hare squeaked: “Allow me! It is HappyEgg that has such a soft, such a small hole for ...” – here the Bunny, completely embarrassed, fell silent, choosing his words and he was immediately interrupted by a large striped Raccoon: “And Svakom is also convenient because it does not take up much space! It is very comfortable to carry along and many animals have already confirmed its versatility. That year, do you remember what interesting tricks our esteemed Wolf showed us with this egg?” The animals cheerfully applauded at this, and some even began to get up from their seats.

– And the good old Private To Go? – rooks rustled from the back rows – This is a time-tested classics! In our store at the edge of the forest this is the most demanded product! The noise in the hall was slowly growing, and threatened to turn into an unplanned debate.

– Friends! The Stork, flapped his wings, calling the audience to silence. – We all remember exactly how the Wolf's last year's performance ended, and therefore I propose to go straight to our new products. He gave a sign, and two sparrows, lurking in the branches above him, neatly unfolded a large poster and the Stork himself showed the audience several colored boxes.

Men's Max! – He said shortly and proudly.

– Wow, Japan... – a light whisper ran through the ranks of the animals. Bravura music began to play, and Stork immediately, like a real magician, began to take out more and more boxes, gracefully throwing them right into the hall.

– Please, gentlemen, do not hesitate, the best in Japan, only here, you can try, right now, for every taste and size, constantly in stock, just from today and only for you!

In the midst of the confusion that arose, the Bear (who was sitting in the front row) managed to catch as many as two packages at once and, looking around in search of the nearest bushes, grabbed the Owl by the wing, and rushed to test them. The Mouse and the Hedgehog got one model for two, but the Hare again did not get anything, but he was not offended, because all hares usually like silence, calmness and, perhaps, HappyEgg.

A few minutes later, the improvised glade hall was empty, but the surroundings were filled with a wide variety of sounds of wildlife. The birds enjoyed trying overseas silicone on their beaks, small animals carefully poked their noses inside, trying to understand what it was about, and those that were larger used toys for their intended purpose. As all of the participants scurried away, the event had to be urgently curtailed, but a few days later the group of companies “Stork-International” issued a report on the past testing. We invite you, dear readers, to familiarize yourself with some excerpts from this work that clearly deserves attention.

Svakom Hedy. Photo #2.

Soft, very compact in appearance, with a large entrance diameter.

Closed volume. It can be used on both sides: external and internal. Versatile for any size, although it doesn't boast a unique feel.

* All Raccoons are still for it! Convenient and compact. Soft (but not overly) and very versatile (although not perfect). But the elasticity is such that sometimes it may well serve as a help in much more interesting games for couples, for example, oddly enough – for fisting (just don't tell animals about this, especially the Wolf).

Real Happy Eggs. Photo #3.

As close and narrow as possible.

It is comfortable in the hand due to its small size. Includes grease.

A through model. Very convenient to wash. Tight and elastic.

* The Hare is pleased and recommends it to all and those interested in the closest possible coverage. The bear though does not understand how to use it.

Private Hot Bombshell To Go. Photo # 4.

A compact version of the famous older brother. Closed model, used in its own tube. Big. Made from soft silicone.

* The rooks haven't tried it, but they really approve. Thanks to a complex system of discounts, their sales are going well. Who exactly they sell it to is kept secret.

Men's Max ORB Durance MM-20. Photo # 5.

Perceptibly large, with a deep, complex surface.

The pressure is average and does not distract, brightly (a plus) and really quickly (possibly a minus) allows you to reach an orgasm. Due to the overall large size, it feels in the hand as something significant. Can be used without packaging. Closed volume. Very soft and comfortable material.

* The bear is very happy, he demands more, and recommends this to all his friends when he meets them. (And the Owl, by the way, again did not understand anything, but it was interesting for her to look at it).

Men's Max Smart Gear MM-02. Photo # 6.

Rather spacy and big. Thin and flexible silicone.

It is used in conjunction with a plastic housing, which is the basis of the structure.

At opposite ends, there are two different entrances for different sensations. It closes with lids on both sides.

It is amazing for it allows adjustments of the degree of exposure (six options).

Reusable. It is not very convenient to wash after use due to the complexity of parsing.

Supplied with pre-applied lubricant for easy usage.

* The Wolf himself recommends it. According to him – precisely for thoughtful and deep self-immersion in the process. Perhaps the best among the universal ones. And the Bear is just happy, as he experienced similar sensations, but he never figured out the adjustment options.

Men's Max Tumbler Square MM-26. Photo # 7.

Convenient and simple with grease included. Closed container. Can be used with or without packaging. Elastic, with a narrow entrance and a complex internal structure. Reusable lid included, almost like with coffee: drink it and set it aside.

* The Forest Cat:

– In general, when I was standing behind the stage and preparing my equipment, then, of course (quite by accident), I snatched this model for myself even before the event itself. Testing fascinated me so much that later, by the way, I received a scolding from the Stork for the lack of photographs of the guests of the event. What can I say ... it’s cool and clearly deserves everyone's attention. It's great that finally the male half of our population has got such a rich selection of various options for such toys. Men's Max I now carry along in a special bag, and of course, recommend it to everyone. Firstly, it is very convenient, secondly, it is available at any time, and thirdly, as the Mouse said, it is simply ultra-modern, and I am carefully following the trends. Just remember: all these toys are strictly individual, and you can't share them with friends (no matter how they ask for it). Purrr.


Well, friends, this is how this long and eventful March day lasted in the clearing of the World Congress Center for Information Technologies within the framework of one separate forest that exists only in the imagination of the author. Join us too, choose a model, test it, and let’s compare our feelings!

Love to all. (c) Your Forest Cat.

Photo and video reports from the forest, and not only. Professionally. In detail and without. For communication – call Owl.

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Moscow, March 2020