Hey boy, you're in the wrong place, it's old school
Before the New Year, a modern high-tech vibrator from the You2Toys (Orion) brand, which had just arrived from an exhibition in Hannover, got into my hands from the Sexshopers.ru. It’s a rotary vibrator with a clitoral appendage. Wait! But this is the ”son” of the famous “father” 90s. Is this even legal? Looks like I hit the Jackpot and a great chance to compare old and new school. At that time, I didn’t even go to school when the TV-show “Sex and the City” had already thundered a series with that famous “rabbit”. These were the real 90s, so I call these high-tech monsters the “dads” of modern vibrators. Wait ‘till I explain everything.
The classic “dad” from the 90s is a colossus, suitable even for self-defense. A heavy unit, but with four batteries inside – so generally a real baseball bat! The only factor smoothing out this eerie look is the clitoral process. “Laughter and sin”, or rather – a bunny, beaver, bird, elephant or butterfly. And this is not the beginning of a funny anecdote, but a real cover. To circumvent US morality law, these vibrators were sold under the guise of toys.
I have three “old" friends in my collection, but I went further and ordered an even more ancient unit from another sex-shop. He is over 9 years old! The real highlight of this monster is two rabbits. The box is in perfect condition, even the picture is not faded. And the smell, oh that smell! If you inhale very deeply, you can catch a real bad trip. Yes, guys, it smells like old school, or rather TPR / TPE and PVC.
And again, your Duck is arranging the battle of the century! High-tech versus high-tech. Whoa, whoa, guys, make some noise!
And they give more noise than all the toys, and even the neighbor's drill is having a nervous smoke on the sidelines. As much as 80dB was given by the old school and 62dB by the new one. Yeah, impressive. Let's go through the controls. Older vibrators had wheels, sliders, or a bunch of buttons with an intensity scale of lights on. Like an airplane runway. There were also remote controls on the wire, which also used two additional batteries to run. Models which are a little younger already had mini-screens like that of the Tamagotchi. On the screen there is an incomprehensible something vaguely resembling a bunny and figures showing the power level. If you get distracted from Tamagotchi for a couple of hours, your animal will die, and with this vibrator it is almost the same. You don’t have a stock of batteries – you will be left without vibration.
The modern high-tech vibrator has three standard buttons. It already runs on a battery and does not require additional batteries. Wow, progress! There are no covers or compartments, which makes life easier and doesn't ruin your nerves. Because old vibrators are a whole quest of acrobatic tricks and duct tape. The lid that covered the batteries was lost or simply did not hold. And if it did, it always slid eventually. I had to put paper in, wind it with tape or hold it with my hand, and given the length of the toy, this is very difficult. There were also problems with the discrepancy between the size of the compartments and the batteries, they already had to put foil there so that there was contact.
The modern vibrator pleased me with the material. Medical grade silicone is odorless, pleasant to the touch and durable enough. In older models, the material was thin and almost all of them tore over time, especially in the junction of the clitoral process with the trunk.
Size really matters when it comes to vibrators. Here they are almost the same. All our “fathers” are 26-29 cm long! The “son” also turned out to be a “father” with 26.5 cm. Exactly a half of its size is eaten by the handle and the distance to the clitoral process. The width of the “oldies” is 4.7-5.6 cm in diameter. This is a lot and can be painful. Without excitement, and a liter of lubrication it is quite difficult to “accept” such a thing. The modern device is already of the acceptable size, 2.0-4.1 cm wide, but still a lot in length. Watch the slides for photos.
Rotation and rimming
Almost all old toys were spinning in a circle, this is rotation. In addition, there were balls imitating rimming in the center of the barrel, they also rotate. In some models, it was possible to change the direction of rotation and speed. All of this was past zone G and much further. The clitoral process fell on the clitoris, there are no questions. It is huge and even the ears reached the farthest clitoris. With "sons" it is the same. Don't forget, I'm comparing hi-tech with hi-tech, and between them the difference is 15 years. And I don’t consider premium devices. Otherwise, it will already be a completely unequal battle between a bicycle and a rocket.
From word to deed. Well, keep your fists for me, because I am the same chica who loves only luxury and premium. Give me vibrators with gold and diamonds, and here it is buzzing. Apart from screams and hysterical laughter, I could not give anything else. Painful, scary and uncomfortable. He also constantly crawls away, as if in search of a new victim. And, you know, I'm not the only one. About ten people wrote their stories to me about such vibrators. And everything is in the style “my husband once bought, we turned it on, had a laugh and took it away”.
With the new vibrator, it wasn't that scary. He looks nice, the bunny is cute, three times lighter in weight. The amplitude of rotation is not that crazy, so it didn't fall out. The power of vibration of the clitoral process was enough for me. Basically, it can even be used to massage the prostate. Not bad for a toy like this. Apparently, it's time to admit that the new school beats the old one. And thanks to the water resistance of the case (protection class IPX 7) and heating up to 42 degrees, it bypasses a thousand points ahead. And this is great!
Despite all the nuances and inconveniences of these toys, I love them madly. They were among the first electronic, progress began with them, they set the fashion for the form, which still remains the most popular. And if not for their ugly appearance, maybe Fun Factory and Lelo would not have appeared, the creators of which wanted to change the mind about toys, making them an object of luxury and pride. On such a happy note, I want to finish my test drive and say to everyone: thank you for your attention!