Text and photo by: Lena and her dildos
How did I feel when I faced my first period? The wildest fear and shame. I had zero knowledge of menstruation (at that time no safe Internet connection was available, not even an idea of sex blogging). That is why what I felt was Horror. How can I tell my mother? Am I dying? Probably, I was, because since the day before I had been stuck to bed due to a terrifying pelvic pain.
Later, there were books on menstruation and frightening warnings of possible pregnancy at any moment. I was afraid of leaks, afraid of getting pregnant fr om the Holy Spirit (the only explanation why I felt so anxious about the irregular teen-age cycle) and let others know that I have “these days”.
Another two factors more added to the mystification about periods: our PE teacher told us that we should use the term “little star” to explain why we had to get benched due to menstrual pain; and my application for period tracking insisted on translating every word but the key word “menstruation”. So, for a couple of years I had been getting those amusing notifications saying “The aunt Menstruation is expected to come soon”.
Now, my application beeps proudly and says: “Your period is coming soon”. Opening the app, I can see the list of symptoms I am likely to have in this connection. No more shame about discussing periods and none of my mates is whispering when asking me for a pad. But I am still conscious that not everyone can see the world as pink (or red?) and perfect as I do... There are people who are still shocked by the new pads’ ad showing red liquid instead of blue and there are girls who are still embarrassed to mention menstruation with their partner. Pretending he is not aware of the fact that he is sharing his bed with a human being, not a silicone doll.
I consider every input to be important in an attempt to make the topic of menstruation free from taboos and unnecessary mystery.
– these days;
– red army;
– little star;
– critical days;
– Crimson wave;
– a visit from Red-light city;
– red letter day;
– and other millions of stupid euphemisms!
Menstruation is just your endometrium that has been waiting for a fertilized egg for a month, and in vain. Menstruation is a sign saying that our body is capable to conceive a baby. Menstruation stands for some blood mixed with mucus.
Taboos make women feel shy about changing a pad or a tampon on time, go crazy checking if they got leaks, become incredibly anxious and deprive themselves of the lion's share of their favorite activities. Mind that menstruation is a considerable part of our life, four or more days every month. These might as well be four and more days to go on with regular lifestyle, no lies to avoid sexual intercourse under this or that pretext. Sum up your periods during lifetime, how much is it? Two thousand, four hundred days, average. Six years and a half fucked up because we were told menstruation is something to be ashamed of!
Talking about menstruation, whom with?
A period may be associated with elevated anxiety. Not the period itself, but many of the related things. You should discuss this topic with people whom you feel comfortable with: your doctor, female friends (unless you feel awkward), your parents (unless you feel awkward), your partner.
With your doctor you should talk about your cycle, its regularity and the pain during menstruation (severe pain is not ok, let your gynecologist know about it).
My friends and I discuss everything that has to do with menstruation. Delays, pain, mood swings. Literally, everything. Such talks help to reduce anxiety and reminds every one of us that all these things are pretty normal. It is ok to get a wicked sweet tooth or get irritated, it is ok to feel light pain and it is ok to feel frequent urge to urinate. The most frequent topics are delays because they make our anxiety and terror levels reach the peak. Your friend will always find words to make you feel better reminding you of stressful factors or health conditions. You feel great when things happen this way!
With my parents I do not discuss menstruation but I have heard of families wh ere doing so is totally ok, I feel happy for you! With partners I can discuss quite the same topics as I do with friends. I remind them of my screwed state, explain why I feel so needy for care or why I may have a sudden attack of chewing a chocolate bar together with salty almonds at 1 a.m.
Summarizing, you should discuss menstruation with people you feel free around. You are free to share information you consider relevant, share your emotions. Doing so will help people to understand you better, take care of you without feeling hurt about your quick temper.
What activities are OK during menstruation?
Anything you want.
So, during your period, you can go to the swimming pool, have sex, do sports, practice yoga, go to work, run marathons and go to a party. You can even do headstands (activity that I used to consider unsafe) – this is ok. Two gynecologists confirmed this fact, the same did my yoga teacher. As I said earlier, menstruation is a six-and-a-half-year period of time. Time you are free to spend on activities you think to be useful and important.
! One ‘but’ is worth mentioning, though: unless you do not really feel like doing these activities or these cause you pain or discomfort.
Above I have outlined that you can practice anything you want during your period and that is true. But before brand-new hygiene items appeared on market I used to face certain restrictions. I used to refrain from sex or used to stay at home while my people went to the swimming pool or to the seaside. I used to feel greatly upset. Then, the Sun looked in, and I discovered incredible things. Now I am going to talk about my favorites!
These are my favorite companions, always. These are two cups by the brand Fun Factory. I have been using them for more than three years now, and they are the best things my periods have seen ever.
A cup is a silicone cap designed to collect blood, not to absorb it. You can wear it for 6-12 hours, then just empty it, wash it and return to your vagina for further using. These cups are specifically curved. Once you get used to them, you will not feel them inside. At all. You can go swimming, practice yoga or have oral sex. Still, not suitable for penetration: they are likely to cause discomfort.
For lighter discharge I chose the small cup (pink, size A), for intense discharge-the big one (blue, size B). Both of them let me feel safe during night-time. I even left the cup inside for more than 12 hours for a couple of times-something you certainly should not do. Before each cycle starts and after your period is over, you should disinfect your cup through boiling during 5 minutes. You can do it using a tea cup and your microwave oven or a pot and your stove. This process serves to disinfect your cup before using and helps to prevent the silicone from going yellowish. During the period, it is enough to use tap water and a cleansing solution.
These cups have neither a tail nor an O-shaped end-that is their basic peculiarity. Such tails frequently cause some discomfort to girls while using. Tails are likely to cause sores on the labia and make you feel uncomfortable. With these cups, manufacturers elaborated a specific bottom’s texture, you can easily grip it with your fingers and pull it out. For the record, I recommend that you refrain from wearing sharp nails. This is my strong recommendation...
This cup is #2 in my personal top (I am sorry, but I actually fell in love with those Fun Cups mentioned above), and a more affordable one. Satisfyer makes their cups in two sizes and you also get a storage bag. Besides, there are different ways to remove the cup: a tail, an O-shaped string and more other options- anything you want. My favorite cup by this brand is one that has a loop. It does not cause sores and it is easy to remove.
Here the silicone is softer than that used in Fun Cups. However, that is the reason why the cups are naughtier at the moment of opening, you will have to spend some time to sel ect the win-win method for you. But these cups are equally comfortable while wearing. The same activities are possible with this particular cup, wearing white trousers among them!
The best method is folding the cup to make it look C-shaped and squatting to ins ert it. This is the easiest way. The key to success is using a lubricant. Without it, any attempt of penetration will be a failure.
The source of multiple funny stories about my sex has to do with using tampons during intercourse. Strictly speaking, tampons serve for other activities too. Using tampons, you can feel free to go swimming, do sports or have sex. I chose the third point and I just use cups for the rest of the activities.
What is the point? Apply some lube on your tampon and place it into the vagina (its thin end forward). The wider part with a loop-like cut serves to remove the tampon. After that you can practice both oral sex and penetration. You can feel the tampon inside with fingers and without a condom, but using condom your partner will not feel it at all.
! Just a reminder: the tampon cannot protect you against STDs or pregnancy. You may still get pregnant or infected. Do not forget to use barrier contraceptive methods.
You can wear this tampon for up to 8 hours, in my case it did not work (I fell asleep and, in the morning, after getting up, I just released all the discharge to the floor. Now I insert a tampon before sex and remove it afterwards. One tampon is ok for 4-6 hours (mind your flow’s intensity).
To remove the sponge, get relaxed and wait for about 20 minutes after sex. Your vagina will go shorter (it is stretched during arousal) and you will be able to catch your tampon with fingers. No panic! That is important. At my first time, my partner helped me to remove the tampon. It made us closer to each other!
As I have mentioned above, you should boil your cup before each cycle and once each period is over. During your period, this toy cleaner will perfectly sanitize your cup. It combats bacterial plaque built up on the silicone and makes your cup safe for further using.
Spray some cleaner on your cup, rinse it and place it back to your vagina. It is too easy! I also use this cleaner for hand disinfection before inserting the cup in public places or in order to remove blood spots (just spray and wipe out). The cleaner is safe and skin-friendly. Travel-size formats are also available.
You can sele ct any cleaner to be used for our toys, but this particular item is my favorite for specific reasons: it has a handy aerosol dispenser, it is skin-friendly and it is lavender-scented (guess which of the reason has been primary for me).
It is quite tricky to insert a cup without a lube. You are sure to experience significant discomfort. Additionally, the cup will not be able to open properly to take its correct position inside. Moreover, a lube reduce friction and prevents your skin fr om getting microtrauma at the moment of using hygiene items.
I just put a drop of lube on vaginal entrance and insert the tampon or the cup. This method will make the process five times faster, approximately. As for this particular lube, I chose it because I liked its packaging and its dense texture. One single press, et voilà!
We thank the on-line store tizzi.ru for supplying the products to the blogger for test.